DEFINE LOVE
by sangii
Summary: "Love is when I am ready to be strong when you need me and comfortable to be weak when I need you." this happens after new moon. Bella gets panic attack. Everyone thinks she is weak. but she proves them wrong. this story is dedicated to my 7 wonders(our gang name :-p) who made me realize friendship and love. hbd vv


**This is the first one shot I am trying. Give it a shot you will love it. I dedicate this story to my 7 wonders who thought me friendship. Also this is my gift to my twin friends vani veni.**

 **Each of your review will be a good wish for me. Try and tell me your opinion. Have a happy read!**

 **BPOV:**

"Alice has gone already?"

"Yes Bella. She wanted to say goodbye. But this will be easier."

"She is my friend. You are.. you are my.. my"

"We are moving Bella."

He stopped in front of me and sighed. The look on his eyes changed. He leant down and kissed my forehead. "Take care".

"Edwarddddddddddddddddddd…" I am running into the forest shouting for him. Suddenly a red eyed monster came in front of me. "Laurent".

"Edward doesn't love you and Alice is not your friend. The cullens don't care for you anymore" he leant his head and came near my neck to suck my blood.

"Noooo. Edward and Alice are back. They will find you"

"They don't care Bella"

"No. Edwarrrrrdddd. Aliceeeeee Edward Edward Alice Edward"

"Bella.. Bella .. Bella wake up. Bella I am here. You are safe. Bella.."

I opened my eyes finally to look at a terrified Alice. "Bella. Are you ok? Bad dream? Are you fully awake now?" my breathing was laboured. Alice was circling my head superfast. It hurts my head. I wanted to ask her not to move.

"I am not moving Bella. It is your head. You are having a panic attack over your dream. Please Bella take deep breaths"

I took few breaths. It is still hard. I hate that I am getting this weak. Ever since we came back from volturi I am getting panic attack even if Edward leaves me for a second. Sometimes I get panic attack over bad memories or dreams. Carlisle told we can control this only slowly. But I can't be alone. Edward never leaves my side. If he has to go then Alice will come.

"Alice let me breath." She released me from her tight hug. "What happened?"

"It is just a very bad dream."

"Bad dream or bad memories?" I paled at her question.

"me. Huh.. Dreams Alice. You know humans sleep and dream." I tried to lie. But of course I blushed.

I don't want to tell Alice or Edward about all those things I faced while they were gone. I know all the Cullens feel bad for leaving. But Edward and Alice were pretty much taking all the blame on themselves. They feel guilty. I can't see Alice's face dull. She is born to be animated. Edward will look as though he was burnt alive whenever the subject erupts. Also I might get another panic attack thinking about it. I am now in Cullen's home till the school semester starts. Carlisle has managed to talk to Charlie though Charlie is not willing to let me stay in the same house with Edward he knows it is better for me to have a doctor at home and with his favourite Alice pouting at him telling him that he should trust her to take care of his daughter my poor old father didn't have a chance.

"Bella."

"hmm?"

"Sorry Bella. I know what we did is unforgivable. Charlie told me how bad it was. But I know even he doesn't know the full story. Sorry I wasn't there for you. Sorry that I let my idiot of brother to take that decision."

I just hugged her "its okay Alice. You thought the best."

"No Bella. I know it is a stupid idea from the beginning. It will kill us to lose our mate." I flinched at this. "Sorry Bella. Sorry I didn't stop this. Sorry I didn't protect you from the pain. Sorry that I wasn't a good friend."

"Alice.."

"Sorry Bella" I was getting edgy. How many times will she say sorry. "Alice leave it."

"will you forgive me?" "only if you promise me something."

"What is that?"

"You shouldn't tell Edward about this."

"but surly he knows Bella. He is with you every night remember."

Edward never leaves me. I don't get any bad dreams when he is around. But I suspect he knows that if he leaves me even for a minute those memories come back. He asked me once but I told I just missed him. But I didn't fool him. That is exactly why Alice is babysitting me tonight. He has postponed his hunting as long as he can. I have to literally push him out. He was soo worried. Not that my pushing had any physical effect but he got my point.

"I don't get those when he is around Alice" I was smiling like a goof now.

This brought a smile to her face. "Ooo I see. Then fine I won't tell him."

Suddenly her face changed "Oooo nooo" I was getting paranoid. Why did I make Edward leave. No actually it is good he is not here. He is not in danger. But Alice. "Alice wha"

Then I heard his voice. "What you won't tell me?" he pouted but I can see the underlying anger. I think Alice is hiding it.

"Edward. you gave me a heart attack." Next second I was in his arms he kissed my forehead and then lips slowly. Even I could hear my heart by now. He took me in his lap and put his head over my heart. He closed his eyes a small smile playing on his lips. He looked like he was listening to his favourite music. He sure knows how to stop me from getting paranoid. Someone clearing throat. Edward looked annoyed. Ooo Alice is there.

I turned to look at her with a smile. "What is it you are hiding from me Alice?"

"You can't expect to know all my thoughts Edward."

"I can expect as I know it is related to Bella."

"How do you know it is about Bella?"

"I am not stupid Alice. I am a vampire remember. I heard you promise her. 'I won't tell him Bella'" he mimicked her voice.

"I told I won't tell him not tell Edward." she told him with an annoyed look.

"Then what were you telling?"

"Edward. you are being nosy."

"Bella I can't let anything about you easily. I don't do the same mistake twice." He yelled and then froze.

"Edward what happened?" I was caressing his face. He had that look of pain in his face when makes him look like his soul was burning. "Edward" I called again. I will gladly walk to volturi rather than see my Edward in this pain. Tears started glistening in my eyes. My head started spinning again. "Edward" my voice cracked. Terror filled me. I was shaking so hard. This brought him back. He looked at me. Hugged me tightly in his strong arms. It is a wonder my bones didn't brake yet. He kissed my forehead, eyes, cheeks. I was slowly getting out my terror. It is difficult to feel bad when I was safely inside Edward's strong embrace.

"Bella sorry bella. I am really sorry. Please forgive me. I will never leave you love." He kissed me again. "I love you more than anything Bella."

"I love you too Edward."

I looked up wearily at Alice. I know she has told him. only that could have brought Edward to this. Everytime I have a panic attack he will have his own too Edward style.

I started laughing suddenly and Edward and Alice shared a panicked look which made me laugh twice hard. "Bella" Edward called to me softly. I was clutching to him to stop myself from falling. I was about to tell him and Alice started laughing seeing my answer which made me laugh again. Edward was clutching and pulling his hair with one of his hands which wasn't around me in frustration.

He looked so cute. I smiled at him softly as I controlled myself. I sighed softly looking at his perfect features. "are you finished?" will you tell me now?"

"Yeah Yeah we know you have to know everyone's thought mind reader." Alice said teasingly.

He pulled out his tongue at Alice. Silly cute boy.

Then he looked at me. Oo god does he ever leave a matter. He must have became very nosy being a mind reader.

"It is just that every time I get a panic attack you get your own Edward style." He mock glared at me.

"Tell him the next line Bella." Alice was still in histerics.

"I just thought Carlisle would have got to get another bed for you in hospital if you were a human. Though it will be difficult to get you in bed. "

"oo you think it is funny Bella. Me in hospital bed." He pouted. I don't know who he learnt that from me or Alice. But he is excellent in it. Best pouting award goes to Mr. Edward Cullen. Can't he be simple even in pouting?

"it is an imaginary attack so it is funny"

"but you are the one who can give a vampire heart attack just by tripping over thin air."

Ok. It is my turn to blush and pout. But it wasn't effective as I started yawning.

Alice quickly said good bye and went to her room.

Edward took me in his arms and gently laid me in his bed. He is always so careful with me like I am made of glass. When I complained about this he told I am like a flower next to him. He tucked me in and lied down next to me over the sheets unfortunately. Though today he came very close to me. Generally he just holds me. But today as I put my head over his chest he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and his other hand was stroking my hair and face. I don't think I can sleep. My heart was racing. He chuckled and I felt the vibrations in my body as mine was nestled next him.

"Sleep Bella." He kissed me lightly on the forehead.

"It is difficult now"

"Why?" his voice was innocent but I know better. I can see his well hidden smirk.

I played along. "May be I am not comfortable" his face looked like I had slapped him and he immediately pulled away. I was not prepared for that. "Noooo" I could feel my panic raising. Next second I was in same position as before in my Edward's arm.

"Shh bella. Its okay. Relax."

"Sorry I was just playing" he smiled and started singing my lullaby and I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up I heard few people talking rather Edward whisper shouting at someone. I didn't mean it evesdrop. But when I catched my name I was curious. I didn't move.

"she is not pathetic or weak Rose. You know this is because of you too."

"I still feel bad for what I did Edward but I don't think she can keep having attack for this long. How long you think you all are going to baby her."

"As long as she needs Rose. Never forget she is in this state because she loves us all" I heard Alice.

Yeah I know I am being a pain to them.

"She is really weak that squirt." Emmett

"She already feels guilty for staying here. She thinks by being here she is causing us trouble also she is afraid to be away from Edward. I think she is terrified you are going to disappear if she leaves you for a second. Ahhh. Edward please control. I can't take that much pain"

"Poor darling we have put her through too much." Ever concerned Esme.

"she is going on the right track. She was very closed up initially which will just increase her stress but now she is opening up bit by bit. I think that credit goes to you Edward."

"Yeah he will ask her what she is thinking even as she gets up. My poor friend she wouldn't even have time to wrap her mind." Alice.

"but it is not that. You all think I am not concerned about Bella. But it is not that. If she keeps on going like this she is going to weaken her body also she will be very weak emotionally she wont be ready to face the world. You all know the world out is not exactly a warm loving understanding. She is weak crying."

I know they were all concerned about me in their own way but they should understand I am not weak, angry, poor. I just don't hide myself from people I love. I couldn't listen anymore I will make them understand. It will be my mission today.

I moved slightly and stretched. "Bella." I heard Edward next second I was in Edward's arms. "Good morning love."

"Morning" I said and looked up at him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked and I couldn't stop laughing.

"Why are you laughing at me?" I shook my head and went to have some human time. When I came back Esme was with a tray of food for me. I ate in silence and Edward was looking at me eating. Then Carlisle came in to check me. When everyone went Edward and I was alone I noticed his smile doesn't reach his eyes from yesterday night. "What happened Edward?

"I am sorry for all the things I did Bella."

"I have already told you to stop apologising and there is nothing to forgive."

"please don't be so understanding Bella. I am not good for you" he has started again and I felt another attack raising but I am not going to let it now. I need to make it clear.

"Edward its f.."

"No Bella its not fine. Your having panic attack every other minute because of my mistake." He isn't going to stop. "I cant be forgiven easily."

"Yes Edward you are right."

He froze. His face a mixture of shock and pain. He was looking at his feet. I got up and stood before him. I cant see that pain on his face.

"what are you going to do Edward?"

"I will do anything Bella. Whatever you want. Whatever will make you happy."

"Really?"

He took my hands and looked at me wearily as though afraid I would pull away. Idiot.

"I promise."

I thought, what can I make him do now?

Before that "Alice"

She came in dancing "I promise I wont look for future. But bella please forgive me too. I will also do whatever you want" I think today god is showering me with fortunes. Two vampires in my debt. I could see Alice was sincere. She too needs to get over her guilt. So I framed a plan. I called for a family meet.

So here is my punishment to you both. We were all sitting around the table.

"who goes first?"

"Alice" "Edward"

"huh huh"

"Okay I will take it." Alice said

"Now remember It is you who asked for this so you shouldn't back out."

Suddenly terror crossed Edward's face "Bella you are not going to ask her to change you. Are you?"

Why I didn't think out that. I was in more playful mood. "No Edward that plan is already fixed remember. Graduation." He relaxed.

"Now Alice's punishment is you cannot take me shopping for a month and you are going to help me with Edward's punishment. Look into the future when I say."

She looked upset about shopping but nodded.

"Edward your punishment is.."

"Whatever you want Bella"

"Will you dance with me?"

To say he was shocked was understatement of the year. Not just him everyone.

"But I get to choose your outfit"

He started shaking his head at vampire speed I thought he is not accepting this.

"am I a vampire or not?"

"yes you are. why?" I asked confused.

"then how can I be asleep. I am dreaming right?"

"No you are not" I smirked at his confusion.

"Alice" she started seeing the future and terror crossed his face.

"Bella please.."

"You said whatever Edward" I pouted. He sighed defeated. Alice was practically jumping around the room. jasper was fidgeting due to her enthusiasm.

Alice dragged Edward into her room and I made the song ready to be played.

When Edward came down the steps after 15 minutes I didn't know whether to ogle or laugh. I had made Edward wear a bright pink flowery dress and wear full make up. I don't think there is any word in any language to describe his face. Everyone was laughing. Still he managed to look stunning to my eyes. I sighed.

"Edward you have to walk like a girl. Sway and move gracefully" Emmett teased him. suddenly there was a blur and a loud smack. "Owww" Emmett yelled.

Jasper was rolling over the floor with laughter as he was feeling everyone's.

"Eddie.." I called him in a rough voice and he turned to me.

"Shall we dance?" he moved to me and we both started dancing to I have died everyday waiting for you.

When the song ended I was in full laughing mode but When Edward Kissed me I forgot what was so funny. When we pulled away everyone clapped. "Have I told you are the most dangerous monster I have met."

"OO noo." I feigned hurt.

"are you two fine now? You have had your punishments"

"Bella these are hardly punishments. But I am happy to see you like this"

"What happened to her? has she finally cracked?" I heard Rose.

"Rose can we be open?"

Edward came to my support. "No Edward I will face this on my own."

"what is it Rose?"

"Bella I am against you or I don't think they shouldn't do this for you. But think though Edward is your life you have to face it yourself. He cant be there in everystep you take"

"I will all.." Edward started but I silenced him.

"As I was telling you have to be strong. You cant always be in pain. You cant be forgiving all the time. It may be your greatness that you take all the pain but it is also your weakness and you are letting your love for Edward and Fear of losing take away rest of your life. There are other parts that you need to concentrate." She finished.

"thanks Rose. Thanks for being honest. But will you all hear me put please?" they all nodded.

"I know you all love me in some way and are worried for me." I took Edward's hand and squeezed it. "The time you have been away hasn't been easy for me. I cant think of that happening again. But only when I opened up Edward understood my need. We got to know each other better and I really trust that he did leave me to only save me eventhough it was in his own twisted logic."

"you told I cant let this alone overtake my life but don't you think Edward is doing the same? Alice is almost too. They feel guilty for doing what they thought was right. Their intentions were good."

"I love Carlisle and Esme as my parents. I love Emmett and Jasper as my brothers, you my well wisher, Alice my best friend and Edward as you mentioned my life."

"how do you think I can move on when all of you are upset? I am getting panic attack and I need to get over with it. But how do you think I can do that without Edward?"

"Rose I appreciate your concern but do you think letting people in, letting them know your insecurities is easy?"

"It requires trust and love. It wasn't easy for me. But as I realized I am hurting him by being closed and I need him I started letting him slowly."

"You think Emmett is happy? we all know you how your human life was. He is always there for you. He appreciates your confidence. We all do. but are you healed. You act out but inside you don't trust us enough to breakdown thus you are walking with that pain. That makes you behave like a bitch at times. Come out Rose. I know it is hard but it is worth the try."

Suddenly Rose hugged me. "I am sorry Bella. I didn't understand you."

"Go to him. you need it." She nodded.

I looked at Edward and Alice "You have to come out of this too. Be happy for me. Get it over with. By being there for me now you are making for the past."

Everyone was silent until Emmett yelled "group hug" they were careful not to hurt me this shows their love.

"You will recover soon dear" Carlisle told. "We will always be there for you" Esme hugged.

Edward kissed me and told I love you.

"I am an empath but even I can't describe your love Bella." Jasper told.

I smiled. "what are you thinking?" I laughed at Edward.

"thinking about love"

"Care to define love to your favourite student?" he asked with that crooked smile.

" **Love is when I am ready to be strong when you need me and comfortable to be weak when I need you."**

He kissed me long and sweet. "I love you Isabella marie swan". "I love you too Edward Anthony Masen Cullen"


End file.
